Little messages.

If God leaves us little ‘post-it’ notes, perhaps one for me is to remember my sin is first and foremost against Him.

Okay, so I have many sins, but one  weird, but very real, one of them is to overfocus on my words and break the law of love in trying to correct and clarify what I said or may have said. Does the other person really care if I clarify? Most often the person would probably prefer to be left undisturbed and prefer to let the words be.

Recently in an e-mail exchange I had with my mom she brought up the idea of repentance before God. At first it was a, perhaps flippant, tongue-in-cheek:  ”Sounds like it’s time for you to repent.” In a later e-mail, she wrote, perhaps more seriously: “Did you repent? Have you tried repenting first, then clarifying?” And in still later e-mail she made mention of Ananias and Sapphira and pointed out that when I sin “it’s before God first.” She asked, “So why, if you sin, don’t you repent before God first?” She has a point. And in a post on the ungrind blog, Hannah Schlaudt writes: “I have to be aware that I was in sin, and my sin is not only offensive to those around me, but to God”. Again, good point…

Why don’t I repent before God first? Out of habit? Longing to make things right on my own? Wrong thinking. Maybe my overfocus on seemingly trivial things is in part because I am drawn to wanting to deal with that more than seriously wanting to take action to correct my more serious offenses. Last month my wise mom wrote me:

3.  If you focus too much on one thing, you easily neglect bigger more important things.  We’ve talked about this.
        The Pharisees—they tithed from their small spices—while neglecting mercy and love.  “You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!”
 
4.  It is easier to tithe the mint and dill, than to do justice and mercy.  It’s much easier to feel “guilty” about the mint and the dill, than love and justice and mercy, or seeing our selfishness, lack of thanking God, depravity, etc.
 
5.  It is easier not to have true shame, as in neglecting justice and mercy, being cruel or selfish; easier to concentrate on the mint and dill, and our own sense of spirituality.

and, in the same e-mail:

3.  So what is it? 
 
4.  My theory:  It is the mint and dill.  Something inside you must make you feel “good” to dwell on it.  I can’t see what it is. 
      Could it be:  it’s a lot easier to focus on this—then the bigger sins that would truly cause shame can fade into the background?
 
5.  We all have sin and shame we deal with.  You aren’t the only one.

I do have bigger sin that I should turn from and fight. But back to the words issues…here’s some Proverbial (ch. 10) insight with regard to babbling fools

“The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin” (vs. 8).

“…a babbling fool will come to ruin” (vs. 10).

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (vs. 19).

So, my words are one of my sinful areas. But I should remember that my biggest offense is against God…